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A 12-Year-Old's Marching Orders for the Upcoming School Year
- by Tony Mase
© Tony Mase - All Rights Reserved
http://www.tonymasesinnercircle.com
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In my opinion, based on my own personal experience,
kids function best when they're real clear about exactly what's expected of
them in any given situation or under any particular set of circumstances.
Every year since he first began school, in the day or two prior to the
beginning of each new school year, I've sat down with my son, who's now
twelve years old, to "lay down the law", so to speak, about exactly what I
expected of him in school and to issue him his "marching orders" for the
upcoming school year.
This year won't be any exception. Although my expectations for him haven't
changed much over the last several years, with a new school year about to
begin, I've been thinking about them again in preparation for our annual
talk together and thought I'd take a few moments to share them with you.
Here they are:
Expectation #1 - I expect him to behave himself and treat others as he'd
like to be treated.
The first and single, most important thing I expect of him in school is to
be polite, mind his manners, and treat others as he'd like to be treated.
All three elements of this expectation are very closely related and because
he understands *why* they're important, he has no trouble whatsoever living
up to them.
Here's why...
One summer day, shortly before he started school, we were driving somewhere
(probably a toy store :-)), when, seemingly out of nowhere, he asked me what
I knew about this "God thing", as he phrased it.
As simply as I could put it, I shared with him my personal belief...
Essentially...
That One is All and All is One. That one Intelligent Substance manifests
itself as what appears to be many elements of the material world.
Simply put...
We're all made from the same Stuff, a Thinking Stuff.
After I finished my simplified explanation of this concept, he sat there
quietly for a moment or two, staring out the car window, then he looked at
me and said...
"Daddy, that makes sense!"
And, with "ah-ha" written all over his face, he added...
"So that's why you're always telling me to love my neighbor as myself and to
treat other people the way I want to be treated, because we're all one,
right Daddy?"
At age five...
He got it! :-)
Expectation #2 - I expect him to do his best.
Unlike many, if not most, parents and teachers, I could care less what his
grades in school are...
Really!
You should see the look on people's faces, especially his teachers, when I
tell them this. :-)
So, what do I expect?
Simple...
I expect him to put everything he's got into everything he does and do the
best work he can possibly do.
Throughout his writings, Wallace D. Wattles, best known for his classic
masterpiece "The Science of Getting Rich", repeatedly stressed the
importance of doing all you can do each day and doing each separate act in
the most perfect manner possible.
That's *exactly* what I expect of him!
If, every single day, he does *all* he can do that day and if, every single
day, he does each separate thing he does in school in the most *perfect*
manner possible, with the purpose of learning...
And that, in the opinion of his teachers and/or the school system, earns him
an "A"...
Great!
If it earns him a "B"...
Great!
If it earns him a "C"...
Great!
If it earns him a "D"...
Great!
If it earns him an "F"...
Great...
I really don't care! :-)
Why?
Because doing everything you can do each day and doing each separate thing
you do in the most perfect manner possible with a purpose is the secret to
success in anything and if he just learns this one lesson and applies it,
he'll be successful in life regardless of what his grades in school are.
Expectation #3 - I expect him to have fun.
Life is meant to be fun, not a bore, and I expect him to have fun in school.
That being said...
Please understand...
I don't expect him to be the "class clown" or a "wise guy".
However...
I do expect him to look for ways to make his "work" fun.
If he learns how to make his "work" fun, he'll never have to "work" a day in
his entire life.
Now...
These three expectations served us (and I stress the use of the word *us*
here) extremely well throughout my son's elementary school years, from
kindergarten through the fifth grade here.
Last year, just before he was about to enter the sixth grade ("middle
school" here), I added a fourth expectation to the list:
Expectation #4 - I expect him to continue to be himself.
The key word here being *continue*!
Once kids hit the "middle school" years, they begin coming under
increasingly heavy peer pressure to be like "everyone" else and, in my
experience anyway, it seems the school "system" at this grade level does
very little, if anything, to discourage it. As a matter of fact, maybe
unknowingly, it appears to me they foster it.
Unfortunately, many kids "cave in" to this pressure because of their intense
desire to be accepted and liked by their "friends".
I stress to my son, though he may be rejected and even possibly ridiculed by
some, maybe even many, if he continues to be himself, he'll attract *real*
friends who like him for who he *really* is, not for someone he's pretending
to be, *real* friends who'll be with him through "thick and thin" for many,
many years to come.
Well...
There you have them...
My twelve-year-old's "marching orders" for the upcoming school year.
In prior school years, because he's been very clear about exactly what I
expected of him in school and because he's been very clear about exactly why
I expected those things of him, he's never failed to live up to my
expectations and make me very proud of him...
I don't expect this school year to be any different. :-)
-----
Tony Mase is a serious student of the works of Wallace D. Wattles and the
publisher of the "A Powerful Life: The Lost Writings of Wallace D. Wattles"
ebook by Wallace D. Wattles...
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